If you know me well, then you know I’m a
non-believer. But once in a blue moon, something will happen to where I
think, “There’s got to be some deeper significance other than I just had
a dream
where I really had to pee, and then woke up wetting the bed--what is the
universe telling me?!” For
example. This past week was one of those weeks, so much so that I
thought, rather than just throwing my hands up to the proverbial universe, I'd shout an assertive "Excelsior!" and go in for my first time for a psychic
reading or two.
It
started with me waking up one morning recently, when
I was supposed to go on a 9-mile run with this running club I dabble in,
and the non-morning person part of me quickly vetoed the run and went back
to sleep. During my extra hour of snooze, I had one of those really
vivid dreams
that’s so real, when it hits you post-slumber, you need to retrace steps
to see
if it was in fact, just a dream. The
dream was rather simple—my two cats were curled up side by side in little cat
balls, and I was petting them remarking on what sweet little girls they were,
when I looked to the side and saw my bunny
curled up in a ball, too. This was a bunny I rescued off the streets last year,
wondering how I would prevent the bunny from becoming my cats’ midnight snack.
Turns out my cats adored the bunny and welcomed her into our home. Our time with her was bliss-filled, until one morning I went to wake the bunny from her cage,
and it was clear something was really wrong with her that wasn’t the night
before, and she died in my hands that morning.
In the grand scheme of life and loss, this bunny was in my
life for really just a fleeting moment, and I’ve certainly experienced greater
loss, but this lil bun-bun left quite an impression and I miss her often. So
in my dream, I exclaimed, “Bunny, you came back!” and picked her up. She had
grown in her absence and was larger, heavier, and I could feel her weight and
warmth in my hands as I snuggled her sleek brown fur before waking up. I immediately forgot the dream and went about my morning
as usual and headed out the door on my run through Griffith Park, solo, since
the running club did their thang hours prior. Around mile 5, the dream suddenly
hit me, and I started crying as I thought about how real it felt and how nice it
was to see the bunny again. I turned a sharp corner in the trail, and there right in
front of me, sitting on top of the corner of a waist-high fencepost, was the bunny. I
stopped dead in my tracks, and we locked eyes for a few moments. “Bunny, you’re
here!” I reached out to grab her, and as bunnies do, she hopped off into the
bushes.
Griffith Park is overrun by Wile E Coyotes, making a
park bunny sighting, nay a bunny perched on top of a fencepost, akin to a winning lotto ticket. Cosmic
significance? I’m not one to make that call. So
instead I called a psychic. I got my reading from a lovely lady named
Chassidy
at this place. If
you go on Yelp and read reviews of psychics, you’ll see that for the most part
the reviews are very vague due to the deeply personal nature of what’s revealed in
readings, and I will mostly follow suit. What I will say about this
reading, is I believe this lady has a true psychic gift. With only being told
my name and birthday, she brought up details of my professional and personal
life that were spot on, and gave me guidance in those areas (like don’t leave
LA—sorry mom!). I was hoping she’d psychically know to talk about the bunny
dream, maybe that was wishful thinking. So I brought it up. She said for sure
the bunny is my spirit animal, and that because I rescued the bunny, someone in
turn will rescue me. Cue Sugardaddy? She also said
the bunny keeps resurfacing to remind me to not paralyze in fear and keep
moving when I’m challenged in life, which I think is sound advice, Bunny.
Then after the reading, I was hanging out with a friend,
telling him how wildly moving the experience was, when we thought to go down the street
to get a second, albeit much cheaper opinion from another psychic. This bitch
was nuts. I thought at first that maybe we just got off on the wrong foot because the first thing out of her mouth was that she knows
I had a mom who was really abusive to me growing up, which can't
even be interpreted as true from any angle. Whatevs, I was willing to
keep an open mind about the rest she had to tell me about myself.
But
no. We definitely got off on the wrong foot when she told me next that
she's convinced I was raped by a ghost while sleeping. Oh yeah. I
wouldn't kid. Never mind that what she told me following that was that I'll be moving to New York in a few years for a job with SNL, cuz I was no longer paying attention. Thank you, you total psycho psychic, I'll be having sweet dreams from here on out. Looking forward to all the ghostgasms.
I suppose this reading could have gone worse. She told my friend that he is miserable
behind his smile and that a female in his life is currently sick, and
that she'll recover but then promptly die.
No, being a ghost rape victim is still worse. But like the recently released film I fell in love with,
I was determined to find a silver lining. One thing she told my friend
was that he has very healing hands and should be doing something with
that. Did someone say back massage? Ding! So no, I would not consider
this psychic reading a total waste since we had to put our money where her deranged mouth is and I got a free back massage out of it.
